What If - A New Hope Saga
About this When the town went out of the power, Chi the Flame Princess agreed to use the machine to show the story of what it like when everyone was in the 4th film of Star Wars. What Happened The film's opening crawl gives spoilers on the relationship between Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader and Princess Leia, then goes off on a tangent about Angelina Jolie and her relationship with her brother before showing the Tantive IV being chased by the Star Destroyer over Tatooine. On board the rebel ship are the droids C-3PO (Jimmy) and R2-D2 (Uni-Kitty), who are visibly shaken when their ship is being fired upon (Artoo also gives Threepio a bag of weed to hold on to). Imperial Stormtroopers begin boarding the ship, overwhelming the Rebel troopers on board. During the chaos, Artoo and Threepio are separated. Artoo finds himself with Princess Leia (Stocking II), who tries to record a holographic message to "Obi-Wan Kenobi," but encounters complications that Artoo tries to help her through. Artoo then decides to just carry the message himself. The two are then spotted by Stormtroopers; Leia is captured while Artoo and Threepio board an escape pod and make their way to Tatooine below. After her capture by Imperial Stormtroopers, Leia is brought before Darth Vader (Bruce II). Vader demands to know where she hid the Death Star plans; Leia claims that she hid them in one of 26 briefcases accompanied by the models from Deal or No Deal. After chosing the $5 briefcase, Vader orders Leia taken away. Meanwhile, on the planet Tatooine, Threepio asks Artoo if he'd prefer to have sex with Jabba the Hutt after a shower or a service droid; Artoo takes the remark personally, since his father was reportedly a service droid, and leaves Threepio in disgust. Artoo cautiously makes his way through the Jundland Wastes, where he is captured by Jawas (one being Tangela) and taken aboard their sandcrawler, where Threepio is also being held. At this time, on board the Death Star, Darth Vader, Grand Moff Tarkin (Princess Kenny) and a group of other Imperial officers are discussing the Death Star's weakness: a small exhaust port that, when fired into with a proton torpedo, could destroy the entire station. Vader orders the port boarded up, but only once price estimates are obtained. Back on Tatooine, Threepio and Artoo are sold with other droids (one being Sandvich33) to the Lars moisture farm owned by Owen and Beru Lars (Thomas and Rosa). Their nephew, Luke Skywalker (George L.), dreams of leaving his home to join the Rebel Alliance with his friends and fight the Empire, but his aunt and uncle won't allow it. That night, after gazing into the double sunset accompanied by John Williams and the London Symphony Orchestra playing the "Force Theme" (as well as the theme to The People's Court), Luke stumbles across Leia's message while cleaning Artoo. The next morning, Threepio finds that Artoo has left in the middle of the night, so he and Luke set out to the Jundland Wastes where they find him. There, they find that Tusken Raiders are coming their way. After trying to investigate, Luke is attacked by a lone Tusken (Opie) but is saved by Obi-Wan Kenobi (Jimmy Jr.). At Obi-Wan's hut, Luke plays Leia's message to him, explaining that the Death Star plans are stored within Artoo and must be taken to her father on her home planet of Alderaan; the message also hints at the mess Obi-Wan got himself into involving pedopilia. Obi-Wan tells Luke he must learn the ways of the Force and come with him, and gives him his very own lightsaber. He also tells Luke that the Empire is probably going to come looking for Artoo and Threepio for the data they possess; Luke deduces that their search would lead them back to his home and, as he feared, finds his home destroyed along with his aunt & uncle, Williams and the orchestra (Luke then states that Williams has to be replaced by Danny Elfman, but after orchestrating one song, Luke decapitates Elfman with his lightsaber). Left with no other options, Luke, Obi-Wan and the droids make their way to Mos Eisley Spaceport in search of a pilot and ship to take them to Alderaan. They enter a cantina after Obi-Wan uses a Jedi mind trick on the bouncer (claiming he's a friend of Dave Navarro's) and hide the droids (whom Stormtroopers attempt to lure out of hiding by pretending to offer a check to Publishers Clearing House). In the cantina, Luke and Obi-Wan recruit Han Solo (AJ) and Chewbacca (Joel) to take them on their ship, the Millennium Falcon. Before taking off, Han disposes of the bounty hunter Greedo (Amy Rose), who came to collect the bounty placed on her head by Jabba the Hutt. The group is then spotted by Imperial forces, but fortunately escape with slick maneuvers (really just listing lazily to the left) and entering hyperspace (a parody of the opening of Doctor Who). Ending Back on the Death Star (which is near Alderaan), Tarkin tells Leia that the Empire has chosen to test their "Death Star planet-blower-upper gun" on her home planet. Leia objects, but Vader and Tarkin decide to fire it anyway (though the latter hints at having doubts about going through with the plan), and Leia is forced to watch in horror as her planet is destroyed in front of her. Meanwhile, on board Falcon where Luke continues to train under Obi-Wan in the ways of the Force, the group arrives at Alderaan's coordinates and find themselves in the middle of an Asteroids screen; it is clear to them that it was destroyed by the Empire. The Millennium Falcon is then caught by the nearby Death Star's tractor beam. On board the massive station, Han and Luke disguise themselves as Stormtroopers and sneak deeper into the Death Star. After singing "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" as a farewell to Luke in a production number backed by several Stormtroopers, Obi-Wan goes off by himself to shut off the tractor beam as Luke, Han and Chewie rescue Leia. The four are inadvertently rescued from the garbage compactor (where James appears as the Dianoga) when a stoned Threepio leans against the shutoff switch. Han and Chewie insist on taking a sofa with them when they escape the Death Star. Kenobi is finally confronted by Vader, who says: "What part of 'Stay 50 yards away at all times' don't you understand?" Kenobi's lightsaber falls limp until he sees Luke, and then he sacrifices himself (although it appears he just may be fantasizing) as the other characters escape. Han decides to ride on the outside due to difficulties getting the couch from the compactor into the Falcon. Afterwards, Han and Luke successfully fight off the "Thai" fighters (with some help from R2, who shoots one drive-by style) sent to stop them, and escape to the rebel base. Before the Battle of Yavin, the Rebel pilots watch a training video featuring Richard Watterson. The battle unfolds mostly as it does in the film with Han and Chewie, much more comfortable in their new couch, saving Luke at the last minute while he is guided through the Force by the dead Obi-Wan. Finally, the power returns. Everyone thanks Chi for keeping them entertained, though Bruce II accuses Chi of ripping off the Star Wars episode of Robot Chicken, a discussion in which Chi says she is "not a fan" of that show, which leaves Bruce II getting frustrated. Enemies *Stormtroopers *Bruce BlazeStar II as Darth Vader (Instead of Father, It Half-Brother) *Princess Kenny as Grand Moff Tarkin Heroes *Jimmy as C-3PO *Uni-Kitty as R2-D2 *Stocking Anarchy II as Princess Leia *Thomas Francis as Uncle Owen *Rosa Anarchy as Aunt Beru *George L. Anarchy as Luke Skywalker *Jimmy Jr. as Obi-Wan Kenobi *AJ as Han Solo *Joel as Chewie *Johnny Gat as Biggs Darklighter Bonus *Tangela as Jawas (Instead of Shocking, They use Poison Gas to knock someone out) *Gordanians as Tusken Raider *Dr. Robotnik as Ponda Baba *Robbie Rotten as Cornelius Evazan *Amy Rose as Greedo *James as Dianoga *Richard Watterson as Magic Johnson Category:What If Category:Saga